Because I know...
(and knowing is half the battle)

Oh come on, you can't say one without the other. It's just not right man. So even though I was trying to be serious, humor snuck in and stuck its tongue out at me again. I guess there are far worse ways to deal with major topics that make me squirm, ways such as:
drinking, eating, staying up too late, sleeping to long, procrastinating, drugs...
well, at least I don't do the drugs.

Here's the thing. I was starting to go on a flourishing diatribe depicting the paths that I am wandering around as we speak. The outline I had in my head was to lament my current career standing (or the fact that I don't have one and almost two months into being 25 am no where nearer to stumbling across one) and chide myself over the inaction. Then I was going to throw in something empowering yet witty to boost my failing temperament through another day of smiling at people that I don't like. Add a dash of "stop berating yourself for trying to make the right decisions and taking the time to do it" and I would have been mentally satiated knowing that the whole world understands that I don't want to remain a waitress in St. Augustine forever and I am perfectly willing to shout it from the rooftops, if I felt confident that I could do so without falling off a one story house and killing myself.
I started to, but I was contradicted. By me. A-GAIN. So I stopped. It seems that I have either killed off the brain cells that were making me over-analyze these things, or I really have just stopped caring. Or maybe I really do understand that my time will come. When I ponder being a go-getter, I take another sip of my vodka tonic and push through the crowd to stare at the beach and think "nah, the real world can wait." While I fail to believe I should just sit idly by on my ass doing nothing, I am renewing my thinking with the fact that I will be a grown up for the rest of my life and this world is too hard to live in without enjoying the major things that I know will sustain me:
Love, family, career, surroundings...
and I refuse to push myself to do anything but enjoy these things.

If you're worried, don't be.

I'm not. Just trust in me. I am learning to, and it's a fabulous thing.