I am so tired. My body is sore because I am trying to train it ( and my mind and my mouth, yeah good luck with that) to focus on something new. Having said that, I feel that I must communicate something to you, the angels walking earth that I surround myself with.

Matt, I love you. You are such an inspiration to me, in that a lot of our struggles are parallel. I recognize you as a compadre in the battle to really and truly find who you are and be happy with that, instead of letting the mundane, drone world guide you. You are such a thinking/feeling person, and that is rare to find in a guy. So loving and intuitive, and then out pops the boy in you, just to remind us all that you are richly human and loving every minute of it, even the crap parts.

Alicia, Alicia, Alicia. Man, do I miss you. And yet, I don't. Because I know that no matter what, no matter how the friendship stretches and flexes and wanes and swells, you will always be there, as will I. I hope you understand that you are the first true person that I've been able to say that about confidently. It actually led me to meeting all of these other wonderful people. I am so very very proud of you and what you are trying to achieve.

Ashley, you and Matt are my examples of true men in this world. I'm happy with knowing you because we can be not perfect together "ooouuuu, you really said that?" or "Ashley, how old is she, really?" It's so wonderful for me to be able to say what I want and be who I am as a woman and have a man that I respect love me because of it, not inspite of it. It's neat to love you because of it all too.

Amber Lynn, so strong, so vibrant, so willing to love. My peace. My "Amber is here, I am able to breath again." I don't know if you see your strength and your hope yet, but it just radiates from you. Your smile gathers all of the light around you, and anybody in close proximity must understand that even if you are smiling through tears your message is "A challenge? Give it to me, I want it." You know you can do anything, right?

Mom. Mother. Ma. Just the fact that you ARE my friend makes me blissfully happy. How lucky am I? What praise to the gods should I be singing that would justify such a blessing? Little spitfire that you ate, your warmth is so apparent that even strangers in line at the grocery store recognize it. And you are my one and only. Your grace and willing smile know no bounds and they are figures that my soul rests on when everything else is gone. Good Lord that makes life special.

Jolie, just thinking of you makes me smile. I have never seen a woman with such a capacity to draw the people that she wants to her, and care about each one individually and with much gusto. I am in awe of your ability to read people, as a matter of fact, I aspire to have a fraction of your intuition. You have helped me open myself, and while sometimes it makes me raw, I am happy to be free. I want to create a renneisance woman within myself and to give to the world, and it is humbling to know a soul who already is one.

Shawn, the instiller of patience. I don't think I naturally have any, but I've found a lot by watching you. And such a mixture of true perfect womanhood: intelligent and strong, fun and witty, mother and friend and lover and just a damn real person who is not afraid of being that way. The attention that I get from you is truly a gift to me, when those dark, cracking eyes focus on me I know that even if I don't want to come out, you want to see the true me and have no time for the one that messes around. It makes me comfortable being who I really am, knowing you who I admire wants to see me.

Sam-mantha. The world exists for the sweetness of fun, and you will always remind me of that. The "party planner" the "clown" the "yep, life's a bitch, let's go have a cocktail or otherwise entertain ourselves, shall we?" You think so much and feel so much that it's amazing you don't explode. Once you get your feet underneath you, man, watch out. My only hope is that you'll stop sometime for happiness, 'cause I think when you grow wings that's the only thing that WILL slow you down.

I love you I love you I love you all so much, it is my pride and blessing to know you and I just wanted you each to know that.