"So, you lead a pretty, uh, fast life-style...Why are you interested in me?"

"Well, I'm tired of the threesomes..."

K, here's the thing. When you're in the presence "of a lady this time..." and she seems to be at least trying to keep up a ruse of respectability, probably that's not the best thing to come out of your drunken mouth. This being the line that tops all lines, my interest was sparked in compiling a list of other things boys say that have left us all with the same thoughts as Rachel on Friend's "Did you forget who I was for a minute?"

*Please note that I cannot be held responsible for the St. Auggie "vernacular" that proceeds...the dialogue that follows may give you just a peek into why I am so adamant about leaving this fair city, with all of it's quaint slackers and crack heads.

- So, I was trying to hook up with another girl, but she got way wasted and hooked up with some guy...but then I saw you, and I was glad that she left!

- What's your friend's name? (If you're not brave enough to ask her, then you sure as hell don't need to be dealing with me)

- Where are all the hot chicks?

- You're a man hater, huh? I bet I could change your mind.

- Will your man break my neck if I ask for your digits?

And for the moment, my all time favorite -

- Do you come here often?

No joke, you could see the teeth in the back of my head, I laughed so hard at this one.

Life at it's finest is hilarious, and at it's worst, ironic enough to be entertaining.