I am really struggling here.

I am dealing with some anger. Some fear. Insecurity. Of course some anxiety but I can't stop breathing, can I?

I am trying to figure out what makes me shut down. So I can stop it. I don't like working against myself because it consumes so much energy. I draw into myself and become despondent, disappointed when I am lonely. The very independence that has become my anthem and my sole reason for being single and bitchy tends to isolate me, and I am frustrated by it.

My body is numb, and my being is listless. I have to stop this.

I refuse to keep on defeating myself.