I really appreciate Irony. That's all I'm saying.

"This bread is cold."
"Well we can't have that, may I bring you some more?"
"But this bread is cold."
"Yes ma'am, and I'll be right back with some warm bread for you."
"Are you going to bring us some bread that's warm?"
"I sure will, and would you like some more warm bread as well?"
"Yes, that will be fine."

I swear, this woman was well over three hundred years old and that was the only reason her life was spared. My sanity, however, suffered a serious blow. What's funny is, the bread wasn't supposed to be warm. But you're not gonna find me arguing with an eccentric blue-hair whose got more money than Trump and probably more influence. She even asked me later if I was ok after I dropped that big tray. I wasn't in the dining room when the tray was dropped but I told her I was fine and it was nice that she was asking after my well-being. Her concern was touching really, even though she couldn't have picked me out of a line-up with all of the male waiters. It's not her fault she can't see.

I joke around, but really this lady was quite charming, if quite deaf. That's one of the things I love about working at this restaurant, the distinguished, older clientele. Two in particular stand out as my favorites.

The Gentleman

By far the most impressive gentleman I have yet to meet, a man who still lives up to the title, is Mr. Butler, who comes in every Sunday for brunch. He dines alone, though I am sure there would be several people willing to break bread with him. Many people know of him; you might say he has a fan club of sorts. Dapper to the point of beauty, he arrives dressed in a three-piece suit, overcoat, and umbrella, even when it's not raining. He knows several of us by name (including me, I am proud to say) and nods and smiles regally at the other guests as he is shown to his table. He has an appetizer, an entree and two glasses of red wine. The red wine served with his meal is always Italian...he is actually the reason we changed our wine list to include more Italian wines, because he diplomatically expressed his disappointment with the fact that there were so few on the list. Sometimes he splurges and orders dessert, but not often, and sometimes, between courses, none of us are surprised to see him catching a quick cat nap, chin resting lightly on his chest. I'm not sure how old Mr. Butler is, but if asked to venture a guess, I would say between 70 and 80. I am impressed by him simply because of the class that he exudes. He is gentle and kind, but commands respect, and I wouldn't be surprised if he knew the true meaning of life and several of the secrets involved with living well and happily. He wishes us all a good week when he departs, and heads on his way home. If only there were more like him.

The Retired New York Broad

I mean the term broad as no offense, but more of an admiring recognition of one of my own, well aged and funny as hell. Her name is Madeline, Miss Madeline to me, and while she annoys the aprons off of most the staff, I think she is brazen and therefore great. When I waited on her, she asked for a Bloody Mary "Less bloody and more mary...I swear I ask for it like that everytime, but it always come out the same way." complimentarysay, she enjoyed her complimetary beverage, as well as her friend's, because the hand that poured each drink was a bit heavy - I swear somebody knocked my elbow...both times. Madeline might come alone, or with a few friends, but she'll tell you that everyone she likes is dead and she's only passing the time with these people. Her friends may or may not be sitting there when she says it, and they'll either insult her back or blatantly ignore her. If her companions are a pain she'll tell you to ignore them, nevermind that fact that she is pushy and picky as well. But she can be charmed and becomes fabulous when she relaxes. It's the attention she desires, and she'll do what she can to get it. I'm all for giving to this wonderful character.

I hope I get to be as impressive as these two.