Saturday, June 30, 2007

This one seems to be doing the rounds for a reason

..> ..> I wrote this over three years ago. Matt reposted it on his page, and I am reposting it now on mine...Every now and then, old friends need a reminder. And then there are new friends who need to be informed, because they clearly have issues with understanding.

But for real, thank God for my Monkeys.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006
..> ..>
i hope she doesn't hate me for this...
the following, my friends, is why i feel it is necessary to wake up on days that i would normally pray the sun would never rise. its not enough just to know someone who can write these words; rather, the ultimacy lies in the fulfilling nature of being a part of it. knowing that any percentage could be directed at you.

When it all comes down to it, maybe it is a question of how much you mean to me. Maybe you don't understand. Fair enough. Now I'm telling you. My love is strong, and pure. If I love you, I worship you for your strengths, and realize who you are for your weaknesses. Because I am such a potent mixture of both strength and weakness, I see the beauty even in the things that you hate about yourself. I am the one who will see the greatness in you, even when you hurt me. I will defend you, your right to be mixed up, anti-social, angry, sad, silly, skippingly happy, glaringly wrong or triumphantly right. Whatever in this world you could possibly feel is necessary to being you, I support you.

Once I have told you, there is still room to mess up. To disappoint. To annoy and ignore. Because when I say I love you forever, I mean forever. If I have claimed you as mine, a possession of my heart, which is rare, you will exist there always. Love is something that I was born to give, freely and generously with no exceptions. Relationships and friendships are existences that follow the tides. Sometimes full of warm, lolling waves and moon kissed waters. Sometimes waning and choppy, dark and cold. There is no way in our power to control the consistency of the surf, and where the waves will break. But that doesn't mean that we ignore the ocean...we jump in, embrace it, and just hope that we make it out alive. I've come to the point that I've made it out alive enough to know that, even if you hurt me, I will continue to live and live well.

Here is where I warn you: It takes a strong person to love me back. I deal in respect, consideration, love, loyalty and honesty. All of these things are intertwined. Even if I love you eternally, if you hand me back anything less than what I give you, continually or maliciously or flippantly, I don't have room for you in my life. In my big and strong heart always, but not my life. I will always take care of myself, and if knowing you detracts from the complicated beauty of my life, than I just won't know you anymore.

my only wish is that everyone could know somebody that wise and willing to love. as for you, you know who you are, thank you for letting me in.