Sunday, April 29, 2007
The house plant is giving me eyes...

Yes. Thank you for dinner.

Thinking that you want something, and knowing that it's wrong for a multitude of reasons, but being perfectly willing to do it anyway, usually comes to an end at some point in a person's life.
When you say to yourself "EVER-Y time that I do this, the end result is ALWAYS bad..." then you're either going to learn to stop doing it, or experience divine intervention, or DIE.

In my case, most of the bad habits that I insist upon perpetuating won't end tragically. Some things I learn to get better about, and some things God has given me signs about, in varying degrees of obviousness from the appearance of a butterfly to a flashing neon sign that says "hey MORON, knock it OFF", indicating that I should not keep doing what I am doing. What I find interesting about myself, and humanity in general for that matter, is how much we are willing to listen. Or not listen at all, to be concise. We stumble around in our lives trying to make the right choices, and trying to not get too upset over our mistakes.

There are some mistakes that are so easy to make, that feel so good, we just can't seem to get the point...BAD. And even if we do - "ah, what's this time gonna hurt? One more time is not gonna throw me too far off the path..." even when we know good and well that it does. Why? WHY do we do that?

I, for my part, am getting damn tired of feeling like a kid with a helmet, banging my head against the same wall over the same tired junk.

I think I'll take the helmet off. At this point, busting my head open or breaking my neck might just be the f-ing wake-up call that I need.