It’s been a long time since I’ve done this.  So much gets in the way – all the time.  So many ways in which to ignore our souls, our inner universe.  We neglect it until it acts up – shows us physical signs that our delicate equilibrium has been disrupted.

These days, I know that I can get off track with worry, anxiety, fear…I am fiercely protective of the love and place that I have been blessed with, and for some irrational reason, I think that I can control the fate of everything that is valuable to me.  Even though I believe whole-heartedly in faith, having faith that there is a Power greater than us that guides us, every step, somehow, I am still arrogant enough to believe that I am in control.  That if I think about it enough, I will be able to get ahead of every bad thing that could possibly happen.  That if I don’t worry, if I’m not scared, not constantly looking over my shoulder, then a big bad boogie man will sneak from the shadows and take everything that makes me happy.

I hate the fear and worry, but they are a part of me.  They will never go away, they will always be swirling around in the chains of my DNA.  I am constantly apologizing to You for my doubt, my lack of faith that You will guide my every step, and truly, I am sorry.  But I think it is time to see the foes of fear and worry as worthy opponents, and bow to them in respect.